When someone we care for dies
When someone we care for dies, inevitably we do a kind of review of the relationship. One of the first things that can happen is that we may feel regret. We go back in time and wonder why we did not say or do something, why we didn’t make more time for them, or perhaps why we never told them the truth about something. Then the loss we feel because we no longer have that person’s presence in our life, gets compounded and complicated and confused with all the feelings and unresolved issues surrounding the relationship. It is so much better to do our best to live each day as if it were our last. And I don’t mean in fear but rather in fullness, in joy, in love and in authenticity. If this were our last week alive, or our last month, or our last year … What would we want to make sure we do? Who would we want to have around us? What conversation or letter would we want to have or write?
My friend died knowing that I loved him. He died knowing that I cared. He died knowing that our relationship was precious to me. There were no “outs,” nothing unfinished. We were immensely lucky in that regard. We were lucky to have reconnected so that I could let him know how I felt and so that he could do the same.
More than ever, we now know that we could be here one day and gone the next
Especially during this time of political and civic unrest, this time of dealing with a pandemic on a world-wide scale, death seems to be around the corner and many of us, just this year, have lost people dear to us. Along with the uncertainty, this environment also brings a great opportunity to free ourselves and free others by clearing up any things unsaid or any misunderstandings. A great opportunity to live in the present. A great opportunity to speak our truth, our love and our peace to those people in our life who are important to us.
Things we have not said or dealt with can turn into barriers to our healing, to our wellness
Forgivenes is a gift we give ourselves, not someone else. While we remain angry or when we remain unforgiving we are hurting ourselves more than anyone else. We are allowing the problem to rob us of our energy, to steal our life force. The energy, the emotion, the trauma get stuck and over time the stuckness turns to illness. Like attracts like. An emotional wound that goes untended attracts more trouble, more regret, more anger, more frustration. Instead, when we summon courage and have that tough conversation in an honest, authentic way and we resolve whatever needs to be resolved, we unburden our hearts and begin to feel suddenly as if we are walking on air — so much lighter. The lightness is a sign of having done the right thing. We feel lighter because our heart is lighter!